SPOILER ALERT! If you haven’t read “Tulip” you might want to do that before reading the following. Click here to start with Part One!
In the few years or so that I’ve done this Substack, never have I done a piece so lengthy that it had to be broken into three parts. I say this knowing that writing “Tulip” was in no way comparable in length, scale, and scope of J.R.R. Tolkien (Lord of the Rings), George R. R. Martin (Game of Thrones), Leo Tolstoy (War and Peace), or even Stephen King (The Stand). But in my own limited experience it surely felt that way. Know that it’s been about ten months since I posted something on A Few Thousand Words. It’s been about twenty months since I wrote anything fiction. The published items in between those two points were just “thought” pieces. It was my attempt at witty commentary that was supposed to be equal parts thought provoking and observational humor. Truthfully, I was trying to find my way. You could say I was in a bit of a creative dry spell. These pieces were stops along a journey to try something new. And I am truly going to return to that format down the road.
Anyway, what I found surprising is how much of this story just poured out of me. The approach, like others I’ve written on AFTW, was to start and see where the journey takes me. I usually meander a bit until I hit my stride. That happened here. But I was surprised by how quickly I found my way. Even my (to date) favorite piece I’ve written on AFTW “Now You Know” didn’t come as smoothly as this one.
So how did I get here with “Tulip”?
Wrong Lyric, Right Story
I've read that some folks have been inspired by music. I can say that for this story, I was sort of in the same boar. More specifically, I was taken by a lyric. The song, “It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish'' is by My Chemical Romance and was off of their album “Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge”. Can’t do a story on revenge without inspiration from an album with that name, right? Just check out the track list and it feels like it was made specifically for some aspiring, wannabe writer with a Substack who wants to write a story on revenge. Personally, I think it’s a fantastic album and, honestly, not for the faint of heart. On an album filled with great songs, “It’s Not a Fashion Statement…” always stood out for me. After having not listened to this album in many years, I was suddenly drawn to it. I can’t explain how this moth was drawn to that flame. Perhaps I was in a particular mood (that tends to happen). Who knows? And so I’d play the song while doing the dishes or when in the car. On the rare occasion that I’d go for a light jog, I’d have the song blasting in my AirPods. The lyric that hit me was,
“This hell you put me in wasn’t deep enough”
Sounds badass, right? Definitely. Except, the lyric is actually, “This hole you put me in wasn’t deep enough”. Sort of, kind of still a little badass, right? The funny thing was that I used the misheard lyric as my North Star to guide me throughout the process of writing a story about revenge. And to overcome such odds as coming out of a hell as opposed to a hole (to me) made it feel really much more of an awesome accomplishment. A hell versus a hole seems more insurmountable. It wasn’t until I was essentially done (about 95%) that I pulled up the lyrics on the internet just to properly sing along to the song. Let’s face it, we always guess at the lyrics. And we’re almost always wrong, right? Look, I thought it was “Starbucks lovers” too but Taylor told me it’s “long list of ex-lovers”. If you know, you know. That said, I made the discovery. I’m not at all embarrassed or ashamed. Look, is it, “I didn’t know all this time I had an older brother” level? No. But it sure is, “I’ve been looking for my glasses and they’re actually on my face” level. Note, only the latter is applicable in my case.
Anyway, I decided to stick with “hell” instead of “hole”, because, well, it’s very badass.
All About Neal
Originally, I thought this would be about an old racist father who is pissed his son is dating a girl who’s mixed race. Truthfully, I clung to that for about three very quick minutes. That seemed too easy. For me, this story had to be different. How? I wanted, in some way, for the reader to have a little bit of sympathy for Neal, however hard that would be. There’ve been many stories and movies about this sort of set up and surely all are more interesting than mine. Why not be different? So I pivoted to reveal that his bigotry was second or even third to what was really troubling him about his son dating this girl and that he was in danger of losing his son. He already lost his wife. His older sons left him. His whole world was shrinking to where it was just him and his youngest. I used the sword and recliner as cherished mementos of points in his life that he was so fond of and he held onto. I also wanted them to be indications that he was a man stuck in time. I didn’t write about any pictures of his family either. I just focused on those two items. I wanted to make it feel claustrophobic, which is why Neal is the only character in this longish short story who is presented in one location—his home. And so the truth is that Neal was just scared as hell that he was going to lose his last son. What kind of fear is that and how strong of a fear could that be? I’m reminded of the Star Wars line by Yoda: “Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering”. Wise words those are. So the entire story up until just about the end is me trying to distract you—the reader—from what is really eating away at Neal.
Khan and Kin
I’m a bit of a history enthusiast (not expert), which is why I worked in Ghengis Khan and samurai. I know very little about the latter but have read a bit about the former. As an aside, I recommend you listen to Dan Carlin’s “Wrath of the Khans” podcast series. It’s amazing.
Neal brings up the example of the samurai while Tulip talks about Ghengis Khan. They sort of go back and forth as to which of the two were better.
Anyway, I didn’t want to force fit another passion of mine (history) with this passion just for the sake of it. This had to feel natural. And that’s how it came to me. My limited knowledge of samurai was that they were revered, elegant, and respected warriors who were absolutely not to be F’d with. Ronin were masterless samurai—they had no leader, no purpose, and nobody claimed them. From extensive Googling, when their master died (foreshadowing here) they truly had nobody. They could even be cast out of their clan or family. It’s this last part that Neal throws out as a hint of what he’s really driven by—losing the last of his family. But in a bid to add some misdirection, I wanted to make it seem like he’s referring to Jacob as the ronin cast out of a family when in actuality—well, if you’ve read the story, you know.
Another aspect of the Khan, is that after defeating an army or a kingdom, he always paused and integrated, among those he defeated, the educated and/or the skilled. Then he’d kill the rest, basically. The other thing is that the Khan was actually respectful of other religions. There were those who were Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, etc. among his ranks. It didn’t matter to him. I really wanted to illustrate the inclusive nature of Tulip’s historical example against Neal’s. Where ronin were left without a “family”, the Khan found ways to grow his “family”.
And since this is a story of revenge, it helps that the Khan had a great quote. On the eve of campaigns he would pray to Heaven to essentially tell him if he should proceed and, if he were to do so, he prayed for success. Almost always he would come down from his prayer spot and tell his men that Heaven told him that they were commanded to go forth and they would be victorious. When visiting certain tribes he would recite some version of the following:
“I am the punishment of God. If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you”.
I figured it was a fitting way to end that part of the story. And it’s very badass.
Killing Jacob vs Neal
I pretty much figured it would be too predictable for Neal to die since he was the architect of what happened to Jacob and Tulip. What greater punishment could there be than to live your remaining life truly alone—his youngest was gone, his wife was gone, and his two kids never visited him. Death to Neal would’ve been too easy an out for him. It’s like what you read about soldiers or warriors who, knowing they’re about to die, will request their captors to administer a quick death. It was usually described as an “honorable” death. Well, we know Neal wasn’t at all honorable nor did his son see him that way. To let him live and feel truly alone was the greatest punishment that Jacob could’ve imparted upon his father. And to add insult to injury, Jacob scrawled “ronin” on his father’s forehead as a reminder. Not only was Neal now branded, but he would be reminded forever.
The End
I wanted Tulip and Jacob to be together. Spoiler alert: Tulip and Jacob end up together. Was there maybe a little doubt as to whether or not they would? Maybe. I surely tried my best to sow some seeds of doubt by the slow reveal after the cops take away a body that I hoped some would assume to be Neal’s.
When it’s revealed that Neal has lived, I wanted it to somehow all make sense as to why Jacob died but Neal lived. Ultimately the two lovers got what they wished. They were both gone from this Earth but reunited for eternity. I couldn’t think of any other way to showcase just how powerful their love for one another was than to have it endure even through death.
In conclusion
I hope you enjoyed this three-part series as much as I enjoyed writing it. As with everything I write, have written, and will write, it’s not perfect. As most writers, I have a habit of editing the hell out of my own work. Adding, deleting, changing, emphasizing, elevating—because my crazy head makes me think it’s not good enough. Well, in some ways it’s not. But if it was at least a wee bit entertaining, I’ll take it!
Cheers.
RL
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